Timid Riders/New Horse

Last week we welcomed a 9 year old registered Paint gelding to our family. After heartbreak with a failed vetcheck on our first choice more than 2 months ago, we were elated when this one passed. His ad said that he had been ridden on trail rides and that he was easy to ride, gentle for the whole family. I took my 10 and 7 year old daughters to try him out. My normally timid 10 year old did not even want to get off of him. He seemed so laid back in the arena. He looked but did not react to motorcycles going by, just great all the way around. After giving him a week at his new place, we trailered him down to the lesson barn for my oldest daughter to take a lesson on him. He was extremely fidgety, and the instructor said it appeared he had never done anything outside the arena and that he was extermely concerned about the other horses around him.

My question is this: Seems like he has a LOT of potential, but I am timid and my daughter is timid, so how do we acclimate him to trails and pasture riding? I scraped the bottom of the barrel to buy this horse, so I cannot afford to invest lots of $ in training. I also work FT so don't have a lot of extra time to work with him myself. Any suggestions?

Cat Schlueter

Hi Cat,

Though I am in the UK teaching, you just happened to catch me on my laptop. Here are some simple solutions and thoughts. First off, it is to be expected that a reasonable period of adjustment should be assumed for any new situation (home, pasturemates, etc.) with a horse. Your horse is still adjusting to everything around it. It has no relationship with you as yet and should not be expected to trust anything or anyone around it at this stage. Your riding instructor may be good at teaching riding, but has shown you she knows little of horses as what I am going to tell you is an obvious interpretation of what is going on here for any person who has even rudimentary knowledge of horses.
Your relationship with any horse is formed first and foremost on the ground playing, dancing and interacting (engaging) with the horse. This is also called 'in hand' activity with the horse. It involves you, as the leader of the dance and game, directing the movement of the horse. Simple, precise, conscious and appropriately asked for movement (leading forward, stopping, turning, backing and lungeing) will begin to set you up as the great leader/parent of the horse. When you ask for something such as leading forward even a few steps and then a stop (Ho!) and the horse complies, their compliance needs to be followed immediately by a 'thank you' in the form of a brief (10-15 second stop in all requests for movement) and a bit of praise (Good Boy). No touching is required or even called for (less is more with horses). Then make another request for a bit of movement and repeat the process. When you provide the break/rest from the pressure of the request, you are rewarding the horse for compliance and beginning to develope a trusting relationship with the horse. Making a request appropriately (the right amount of energy in the request, i.e. not too much pressure and not too little) helps the horse to trust that a good leader is present. This will prompt the animal to learn you can be trusted and that when you make a request or are even just with the horse, it can feel safe. During the rest you offer the horse for compliance look for the horse to lick and chew with its mouth. This is a word in the language of the horse. It is a social display. It shows a level of comfort with the horse, a degree of accepted compliance and while licking and chewing it is processing what just happened and this is when it is really learning from the lesson and it will begin to trust you as its great leader more and more. This process is to be repeated over and over with each new action requested and complied with. If you request something and the horse does not comply, it did not understand your request. If you confuse a horse you make it afraid there is no leader near. They get their sense of safety from the leader in the herd. For a domesticated horse, you are required to be it's leader, you own it. If there is no good leader present every instant for the horse, it begins to fend for itself in order to think it can survive. This is to be expected. All behavior we label as 'bad' behavior in a horse is a symptom of fear. They never deserve punishment. Consequences are good as they support learning and taking responsibility. NEVER PUNISH! HORSES ARE ALWAYS INNOCENT!

What you really need is education about horses. The quickest and best way I can suggest for you to get this badly needed education is not to go to a riding instructor. For a reasonable amount of money you can purchase training DVD's that will open your eyes, heart and mind as to the true nature of horses. A good book or two will help as well (Naked Liberty by Carolyn Resnick for one). But you need to see the techniques involved in the appropriate handling of horses, as learning horsemanship from a book is a little like trying to learn ballroom dancing from a book. Training DVD's are easily found in the backs of all horse magazines. I have several within the shopping corral of my website that would prove invaluable to you. No matter whose DVD's you decide to get, get several and watch them over and over. You will begin to get the sort of education you really need. Do not just watch riding lessons as they have little to do with the nature of horses and the sort of information that will be valuable to you. It is NEVER ABOUT show him who is boss or take charge and control the horse. After you and your children acqure the education you need about horses, then the riding of the horse should be the icing on the cake. It should never be the first thing you do with a horse.

Cut this horse a lot of slack, be patient and understand there is nothing wrong with this horse that some time, patience, appropriate communication, developed trust within the relationship (which always takes some time) and compassion, will not overcome. Riding instructors never admit there are things they do not know about horses. You will receive opinions from folks who have owned horses a lot of their lives, ride all the time and still know nothing of the real nature of horses. I know many, many people who comstantly win ribbons and trophies as riders and know little of the horse itself. This is a sad but true commentary on the horse/human relationship. Develop some trust through being consistent, kind, skillful, conscious, non-judgemental, patient and forgiving. You and your children will benefit greatly from having a horse. Do right by them and it. I am available to help......

Sincerely, Franklin

Lisa